This Darkness Mine by Mindy McGinnis
Publication: October 10th, 2017
Genre: YA Mystery Contemporary
Sasha Stone knows her place—first-chair clarinet, top of her class, and at the side of her oxford-wearing boyfriend. She’s worked her entire life to ensure that her path to Oberlin Conservatory as a star musician is perfectly paved.
But suddenly there’s a fork in the road, in the shape of Isaac Harver. Her body shifts toward him when he walks by, her skin misses his touch even though she’s never known it, and she relishes the smell of him—smoke, beer, and trouble—all the things she’s avoided to get where she is. Even worse, every time he’s near Sasha, her heart stops, literally. Why does he know her so well—too well—and she doesn’t know him at all?
Sasha discovers that her by-the-book life began by ending another’s: the twin sister she absorbed in the womb. But that doesn’t explain the gaps of missing time in her practice schedule or the memories she has of things she certainly never did with Isaac. As Sasha loses her much-cherished control, her life—and heart—become more entangled with Isaac. Armed with the knowledge that her heart might not be hers alone, Sasha must decide what she’s willing to do—and who she’s willing to hurt—to take it back.
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Mindy McGinnis really knows how to shake me to my core. The Female of the Species is the superior book from what I read but this book was just as mind-blowing. Guys this is one of those books that stays in your mind days after you read it because you just don’t know how to feel. This really is a psychological thriller because really Sasha goes through some troubling things. The book had me hooked from beginning to end. Sasha is your typical good girl. She doesn’t get in trouble, no sex, drinking, drugs, cursing, or anything that the world deems bad. She gets good grades, she and her boyfriend fit together like puzzle pieces, she is the school Valedictorian and she’s even in the school band. There is not a hair out of place. She and her parents have their rehearsed answers for dinner time and she is in bed at a reasonable time. Life is great and nothing can mess up her college plans. But then Issac Harver is texting her. Isaac. The school bad boy. Drinker. Smoker. Sexual. Rude. Trouble. Why is he texting her? How does he have her number? Why is he saying SHE gave it to him? Why is there a voice in her head claiming to be her twin? Sasha’s perfect world gets twisted upside down by the heart of the twin who died in the womb. She is in her mind and every bad thing she starts doing is not her. IT. IS. NOT. HER. Why won’t people realize that? Grades slipping, losing chair in band, touches from a boy she doesn’t remember getting, losing her perfectly fit boyfriend, losing touch with her parents, and possibly losing her mind. Sasha’s perfect world is starting to crack and she has to claw her way back out. But, it may well be too late. There is darkness in her. Is it her sister? Or is there something darker lurking in the shadows?
This book is twisted and even up to that wild ending took me on a ride. I can imagine a movie for this book. Every plot point and twist dug deeper into what was happening and I couldn’t get enough.
Sasha Stone is a horrible person but even she doesn’t realize that. She is nasty and drives the people around her mad. I loved her. I loved every messed up flaw about her because it made for such an interesting character arc. There is no redemption to be had here and I love that because sometimes people don’t get better they just learn to mask it. Watching her world fall apart and the way her mind worked was so intense. At times you don’t even remember the girl she was when the story started. The twist at the end really makes you question her whole character and mental state because of how much she believes certain things to be true. McGinnis really created an interesting character. The side characters really added a lot to the story. I think it was interesting to see how the side characters developed as her mind and world continued to deteriorate and spiral. As she spiraled so did her parents and how they reacted to things. Her friends, boyfriend, and Issac had a very cause and effect thing going on that I enjoyed. Then you had the people in the care center like the therapist that really were affected by her actions. As Sasha worsened it was interesting to see the effect it had on the side characters. There was a lot of depth here.
McGinnis is really a fantastic contemporary mystery thriller/psychological thriller writer. She hooks me in from the beginning and has me questioning everything. This story had a very is it in her mind/is it actually her sister push and pull thing going on till the very end. The ending is so ambiguous and left me so satisfied. The characters are flawed and she captures that perfectly in the world she created.
“All imperfections glare in the spotlight.”
“I don’t tell her that we’re both still sulking from the use of the word psychotic.
Because if that’s accurate then I’m crazy and she doesn’t exist.
For both of us.”
“Like a lot of things, it only hurts if you let it.”
“They can give you a new heart, but they can’t fix something that isn’t there.”
“People are always surprised when roses have a few thorns.”
“Cause I had that dream too. But I was actually there and you sure as hell weren’t asleep.”
“Because in the end, it’s just you who has to be enough.”
“I had a sister. She was never born, and she never died.”
“But I am not done yet, and I am determined, I am Sasha Stone. This is mind over matter and my mind is the strongest thing in me and I will not falter, will not hesitate …”